red wine in wine glass
Mind Set

Is your drinking getting in the way of your living?

 

 

That was me. I say that because today I am 1 year sober. Whoo Hoo! Celebrate my milestone with me! 1 year, 12 months, 365 days, 8760 hours, 525,600 minutes, 31,536,000 seconds. Yup, sober is the word I used. I wasn’t drinking at 9 am. No, drinking and stumbling out to my car to drive home was NEVER an issue. I didn’t end up passing out on the front lawn. However, it was a path I could see myself heading down if I didn’t stop. What I noticed was my drinking was getting in the way of my living.

 

Webster’s Definition of Sober
soberer play  \ˈsō-bər-ər\; soberest play  \ˈsō-b(ə-)rəst\
1 a: sparing in the use of food and drink: abstemious
b: not addicted to intoxicating drink
c: not drunk

 

Have you ever said to yourself, “I’m going to get drunk tonight.” Nope, me either. It was usually more like, “Man I worked hard today, I deserve to treat myself to a glass of wine.”  Or “Ya know a glass of wine would go really good with my pasta dish.” “Everyone else is drinking and I don’t want to look out of place.” “It’s the weekend and I can sleep in tomorrow.” “I’ll just have one glass and then cork it.”

 

 

My drinking in public was controlled. My problem was drinking at home. Here’s what I realized. I didn’t want to stop at one glass of wine. One would become two. Two would become three and then the entire bottle. Inside of me, there was some trigger where I became competitive with who would get the last glass while drinking wine with my husband. I kept that to myself but I could feel it. Have you ever felt sad when a bottle was empty? I always wanted to open another. And sometimes we did which was never a good thing.

 

The enemy even tried to tell me the lie “You can’t stop drinking, that’s really all you and your husband have in common is drinking together at dinner.  What would you talk about? What would you share? You only have real conversations when the walls come down after a glass or two?” Lies, lies and more lies.

ARE YOU BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELF?

 

If I’m honest with myself and with you, I was one who drank alone. When my husband was out of town on business I would drink wine to comfort myself.  Buffering is what The Life Coach School instructor, Brooke Castillo calls it. Feeling the loneliness while he was gone was something I didn’t want to feel. So to buffer, I would drink. One glass became two and you get the picture. Then I would eat, whatever we had in the frig or the pantry. Not because I was hungry, but because my resistance was low and I wasn’t thinking clearly.

 

After drinking I tossed and turned all night.  Unless I had way too much to drink and just basically passed out per say. Waking up hungover was never a problem but I had no energy. The last thing I wanted to do was get out of bed or face the day.  Resetting the alarm to the very last second became commonplace. I hated my morning workouts because I was so tired. Sometimes I wouldn’t go even though I paid for the month. I looked forward to coming home and making excuses for myself to open a bottle of wine.

 

WHEN EVERYTHING CHANGED

 

One night changed everything. I remember going to the store and buying sushi and instead of one bottle of sake, I bought two. I know! Don’t even say it, I know what you’re thinking. Ugh, store-bought sushi and saki, two bottles no less. Dinner wasn’t so bad and one bottle went down relatively quickly. I got into the second bottle and then ate snacks for awhile. Needless to say, I threw up. Throwing up as an adult is not fun. My head draped over my arm sprawled out against the toilet seat. I don’t remember getting into my PJ’s or crawling into bed.

 

The next morning I had a vision of me looking down at myself hugging the toilet. It was a shocking and horrible sight. All the episodes of Intervention that I love to watch came flooding back. Did I watch them so I could feel better about myself? Oh, at least I’m not that bad. I felt like God was saying “Lorie, this is the path you’re heading down. Before long you will be the neighborhood lady sprawled out on the front lawn drunk and passed out from the night before. This is NOT the plan I have for you”. That was the day I stopped drinking. One year ago today, September 14th, 2017.

 

I feel 100% better! My life has completely changed.

Is your drinking getting in the way of your living?

What do you use to buffer as a way to not feel?

Leave your comments below.

16 Comments

  • Angie Goucher

    Thank you so much for sharing this. Its crazy how we all have our demons and its not until their brought to light that we can get help and help others. This is so encouraging, as I myself have struggled with different addictions all throughout my life. I am often discontent and find myself indulging in things such as alcohol or food to fill that hole. I know that Jesus is the only thing can fill it yet I tend to seek out things that are bad for me instead of turning to him. Im so proud of you and I hope that I too can lay these burdens that hold me in bondage at his feet once and for all! Thank you Lorie! I will be Praying for you! Feel free to add me to your prayers if you think about it. God bless!

    • LorieWeiss

      I prayed for you this morning Angie. Thanks for being honest and vulnerable too. It’s a battle and all the advertisements celebrate it. We all know the right thing to do yet we don’t do it. That battle has been happening from the beginning. Hang in there lady!

  • Petra

    Wow. This is my current life. Since 2012 my life has been an up and down roller coaster. Bad divorce, even worse ex husband, weight gain, weight loss weight gain again (I contribute this to bottles of sparkling wine) other health and financial issues. I could go on and on. I too don’t drink to get drunk. I limit my drinking at the local wine bar but once I get home it’s one glass after the other. Thank you for the very inspirational blog. Lots to think about.

  • Ginny

    GOD always knows what is good for us and His arm is never to short to reach down and lift us up when we stumble as we traverse off trail, instead of staying on the path He laid out for us and for our good and His glory. He lifts us up, brushes us off, and pulls us tenderly into His bosom and under the shelter of His wings. How wonderful is our Father!!!

  • Beth Shoaf

    Wow, Lorie…I had no idea! I’m so happy that the sake incident happened and you recognized it as a problem. I can’t relate myself, I don’t drink often and don’t drink much at one time. I just don’t think I have an addictive personality. But I do know plenty of people just like you and I worry about them.
    So happy for you!! Keep up the the good work!!❤️

  • Pam

    Wow! So proud of you! I love your honesty and authenticity. Thanks for sharing your story. I know it will have an impact and that there is somewhere somewhere who needs to read this and whose life still change because of it. Thanks for being a light! Xoxo

  • Claudia

    Thank you for being so honest and transparent. If we all could see what God sees in everyone would we be shocked? I don’t think God is. Love you 😘

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