3 Tips to Following the KonMari Method when your loved one doesn’t feel the same excitement
February 12, 2019
Have you jumped the on KonMari bandwagon yet? I have but my husband hasn’t. So what do you do when your loved one doesn’t feel the same excitement for organizing that you do? Everyone can benefit from the KonMari method whether they are ready to purge or not. I have discovered 3 tips that can help.
TIP 1: Understand Your Differences
Have you found that organizing and decluttering can uncover lots of emotions? I sure have. Were you in a family that lived paycheck to paycheck? Was one parent on disability so you had to scrape to pay the bills? Or maybe your parents had credit card bills up to their eyeballs to give you everything your heart desired. Did you grow up during the depression where you made use of everything you had twice over? Whatever the case all those thoughts and feelings have become part of you. It might be helpful to reflect on how you grew up and where you are now as you walk out this organizing and decluttering journey. The key is not to judge but instead be curious and understanding.
Knowing the differences between you and your loved one will help. My husband and I are on opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to organizing and decluttering. He’s a saver and a collector. He loves to read books, he purchases a golf ball or a ball marker from each golf course he’s played around the country, and he buys a t-shirt as a souvenir when we travel. The bookshelf in his home office is jam-packed with all sorts of personal items, mementos, and collector’s items. There are beer steins from his days as an exchange student in Germany, protective eyewear his Grandfather wore when he worked at Bethlehem Steel, his dog tags and even a few stuffed animals. I used to think, “Why in the world is he holding on to all that stuff?” However, now when I look at those shelves I’m reminded of the incredible man my husband has become. It probably brings him joy. Don’t get me wrong there are lots of things that he holds onto that I don’t agree with however that is his choice. Even if he’s not ready to purge he too can benefit from the KonMari Method.
I, on the other hand, am a donator. When I discovered the KonMari Method in 2015 I began with my clothes as Marie Kondo suggested. You can read more about my experience here. I keep going through my mementos and personal items from childhood. Each time I find myself ready to let go of more. As a result, I find a family that could benefit from the item or I donate it to our thrift store. In fact about 10 years ago I found a new home for my Barbies, Barbie Dream House and the Barbie Corvette. I know. Don’t say it. I can imagine what you’re thinking. “Only 10 years ago?” Hey, its still progress right? One of the hardest items to give away was a dollhouse my Mom and Grandfather made for me when I was about 7 years old. I found a family with 4 girls who loved it. It’s probably onto another family by now and deep down it makes me happy that someone else has been blessed by this treasure. Even though it was difficult I have photos and the memories of those items to help me reminisce.
TIP 2: You Can’t Change Others
Is it possible to change someone else? NO is the correct answer. To my husband, there is nothing wrong with having and keeping things. A common phrase in our household is “It doesn’t eat anything.” I guess what I’m really getting at is you can only change yourself. So go through your belongings and be okay with the peace you create for yourself by tidying up. My husband is not ready to go through his items and that is okay with me. In areas, we use together, for example, the kitchen we can reorganize together. Will we get rid of much? Probably not cause Ron is the cook in the house and that blesses me. However, we can make it a more usable organized space. In fact just a few weeks ago he re-organized the pantry and it looks and functions so much better.
TIP 3: Implement What You Can
I did find ways to use the KonMari method with my husband. Have you ever completed the laundry, go to put everything away and had a hard time squeezing everything into the drawer? I find that incredibly frustrating but I’d shove the item in and quickly close the drawer. The way Marie Kondo folds clothes can spark joy with everyone! So even though Ron is not ready to get rid of stuff he can benefit from the KonMari method.
Here’s a little before and after of his dresser drawers.
Can you believe these drawers have the same about of undershirts? Look at the difference in space.
Before my husband would grab the top five pairs of socks each week not seeing what he had below.
So even though my husband doesn’t feel the same excitement that I do for the KonMari Method he has benefitted and so have I.
Have you shown your loved one the benefit of the KonMari method? Share in the comments below.